A Heartfelt Chat: Mum Love Meets PANDAS Foundation
This week, I had the incredible opportunity to sit down with PANDAS Foundation, and it was a conversation that deeply resonated with me. We dove into the often-overlooked identity shifts that many parents experience after welcoming a child into their lives. It was eye-opening to explore how these changes shape our wellbeing and how we can better support each other through this transformative journey.
Identity: A rollercoaster ride
Becoming a parent is like jumping onto a wild rollercoaster of emotions and identity changes. For some, it’s thrilling and affirming; but often, it can feel like losing a part of themselves. Sally beautifully articulated this when she said, “Many mothers feel they’ve ‘lost’ their previous self.”
I could relate to this feeling of disorientation. It’s as if you’re trying to find your way in a new world, and every day feels unfamiliar. Acknowledging this shift is so important, but as we discussed, sometimes just saying “you’re not alone” isn’t enough.
The power of normalisation
One of the most poignant parts of our conversation revolved around the idea of normalisation. While some parents find comfort in hearing “this is normal,” others may feel dismissed. Sally put it so well: “Telling someone ‘this is normal’ can help some mums feel reassured, but for others it’s not helpful - they still feel awful and need support.”
This really hit home for me. It’s crucial that we not only normalise these feelings but also guide people towards the support they need. Compassionate conversations are key!
Understanding perinatal mental health
We also touched on the complexities of perinatal mental health. It’s not always just about feeling sad or struggling to bond. As Sally explained, it can manifest as anxiety, intrusive thoughts, or even numbness.
I was surprised to learn how often terms like “baby blues” are used to downplay what some parents are genuinely experiencing. “It’s used so often to diminish what people are going through,” she said. This just reinforced for me the importance of listening and validating each other’s experiences.
Practical tools for support
Navigating parenthood can be challenging, and sometimes it’s hard to know when to seek help. That’s where practical tools come in. Sally suggested mood trackers and printable sheets for healthcare appointments as simple yet effective ways to gauge our mental health.
“If the same low mood or anxiety continues for more than a few days, you need help and support,” she emphasized. These small steps can make a big difference, not just for individuals but also for healthcare providers in understanding their patients.
The magic of peer support
What I found most inspiring was PANDAS’ reliance on volunteers who have lived through similar experiences. Many of them have turned their struggles into strength by supporting others. “So many volunteers came through it themselves - they turn a negative experience into something positive,” Sally shared.
This peer-to-peer connection can be a lifeline, reducing feelings of isolation and validating our shared experiences.
A call for change
We also discussed some broader barriers that still exist, like stigma and unequal access to resources. Sally made a compelling point about the need for partnerships and community support, especially as we recover from the impacts of COVID-19.
Looking ahead: A hopeful future
On a hopeful note, we discussed how many people who face perinatal mental health challenges go on to become advocates. Sharing positive stories of recovery can help shift public perceptions and make it easier for parents to seek support without fear of stigma.