Support for youEMotional Support & Resources for Mums Navigating Identity, Overwhelm & Rediscovery
FROM A MOTHER TO ANOTHER
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FROM A MOTHER TO ANOTHER |
Understanding Matrescence
You've probably heard of adolescence. Matrescence is the same kind of shift, but for becoming a mother. It's gradual, sometimes disorienting, and completely normal. And most women go through it without ever knowing it has a name.
Motherhood doesn’t come with a roadmap for identity, or for the moments when you feel lost, overwhelmed, or unsure of who you’re becoming.
Our resources, developed with therapists and experts, are here to help you navigate the emotional, mental, and practical sides of rediscovery and maternal identity. Whether you're facing mum guilt, struggling with mental health after motherhood, or simply searching for clarity, these tools are here to support you.
One small step at a time, we’ll help you reconnect with who you are, and who you are becoming.
support through pandas FOUNDATION
At Mum Love, we believe that no mother should have to navigate the hard moments alone. That is why we are proud to be working with PANDAS Foundation to share their resources. PANDAS have been supporting families affected by perinatal mental health for years, and their tools are practical, gentle and genuinely useful. We hope you find something here that helps.
Mood Tracker
Becoming a mum changes everything, including how you see yourself. If something feels off in those early weeks and months, this simple self-led tool from PANDAS Foundation helps you notice and name how you are feeling, day by day.
There are no rules. A word, a feeling, even a symbol. Over time, patterns emerge and having that record makes it easier to recognise when you might need a little more support.
This tracker is for everyone. The mum who is just about holding it together, the one who is quietly struggling, and the one who is already on the road to feeling more like herself again.
Toolkit for seeing your Healthcare Professional
Talking to a GP, midwife or health visitor about how you are feeling can be one of the hardest steps to take. This downloadable toolkit from PANDAS Foundation is designed to make that conversation a little easier.
When you are not feeling like yourself, finding the words to explain that can feel impossible. This is here to help with that.
resources
It’s Okay to Get Lost. We are Here to Help You Find Yourself Again.
In the beautiful chaos of motherhood, it’s easy to lose touch with who you are beyond 'Mum.' This collection of exercises is here to help you rediscover who you are. She still lives inside you!
Whether you’re feeling a bit stuck, nostalgic, or just overwhelmed by all the demands of parenting, these pages are designed to help. Let’s embrace those feelings together and sprinkle a little self-compassion into your life. With practical exercises and prompts, you’ll carve out precious "you" time, rekindle your passions, and celebrate the unique individual that is YOU!
So, let’s dive in! It’s okay to get lost sometimes. What truly matters is finding your way back to yourself!
Need someone to talk to? Contact us on 0208 895 6499. Or use our chat feature any time of the day or night, with expert advise from Pear Therapists to support you on your journey.
Exercise 1letters to pre mum
Connect with different versions of yourself and celebrate your journey through time.
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Find your comfy spot — maybe with a cup of tea and while not holding your beautiful baby
Kick things off with: "Hey there, [your name at 16]!"
Get nostalgic: What were your wildest dreams? What made you laugh or cry? Share some of the drama, the fun, and the chaos of those teenage years.
Drop some wisdom: What would you tell your younger self about the future? Remind them that it’s okay to be a little quirky and that they’re going to shine!
Wrap it up with a hug: Finish with something uplifting, like, “You’re amazing just as you are!”
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Shift your vibe to before you became a mum.
Start with: "Hello, [your name before becoming a Mum]!"
Dream big: What were your hopes and dreams before you took the plunge into motherhood? What were you looking forward to the most?
Share your journey: Let them in on the fun and the challenges you’ve faced since then. What surprises did you encounter on this wild ride?
End with a wink: Close with a little cheer, like, “You’re in for an adventure — enjoy every moment!”
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Now, let’s chat with the fabulous you today!
Begin with: "Hey you, [your name now]!"
Express your feelings: How are you holding up in this whirlwind of motherhood? What’s been your biggest triumph? What’s making you chuckle or pull your hair out?
Send some love: Remind yourself that you’re doing great, even on tough days. Give yourself permission to take breaks and enjoy those small wins!
Finish with flair: Wrap it up with a boost, like, “Keep shining, you’re a rock star!”
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Once you’ve penned these letters, take a moment to read through them and soak in all the memories and wisdom. You might even want to keep them in a special spot — revisit them whenever you need a dose of encouragement or a reminder of how far you’ve come.
Exercise 2getting unstuck
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Instead of giving that stuck feeling a hard time, treat it like a friend who just needs a little TLC. Say to yourself: “Hey there, I see you! You’re tired and just want a break, and that’s absolutely okay. You’ve been working hard to care for my family!”
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Grab a cozy spot, take a deep breath, and give yourself a moment of quiet. Ask yourself why you feel this way. Imagine you’re having a heart-to-heart with a friend. Listen with kindness and curiosity.
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When those pesky emotions pop up, don’t fight them! Instead, respond with a warm cup of compassion. Remind yourself that it’s completely natural to feel this way; embracing these feelings is the first step to healing.
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Consider how this part of you has been a rock star in the past! Think of ways to give it a much-needed rest, creating space for healing and renewal. By welcoming these emotions, you’ll cultivate deeper understanding and find your path to healing.
Let’s show some love to that part of you that feels a bit lost or nostalgic.
Exercise 3You Time
Let’s help you reconnect with the fabulous person you are beyond being a mum.
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What to Do: Think about the activities, people, and things that make your heart sing! Write down everything that brings you joy, no matter how small. Here are some ideas:
Diving into a chapter of a gripping book
Whipping up your favourite meal
Luxuriating in a long, hot shower
Strolling in nature and soaking up the sights
Catching up with friends over a cuppa
Dipping your toes back into a beloved hobby
Tip: Keep this list somewhere you can see it. Maybe on your fridge or in your planner, as a reminder of those joy-filled moments waiting for you!
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What to Do: Look at your Bliss List and pick a few activities you can realistically squeeze into your busy life. Schedule "CEO Time" - those non-negotiable slots just for YOU! This could be:
A 30-minute reading session each evening
An hour on the weekend to cook your favourite dish
A weekly walk with a friend to catch up and laugh together
Tip: Treat this time like the important meeting it is! Pop it in your calendar and honour it, after all, you deserve it!
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Why It Matters: By prioritising your happiness and self-care, you’ll zap those feelings of role confusion and reconnect with who you are beyond motherhood. Make it a habit to check in with yourself regularly; nurturing your non-mum self is essential for your overall well-being and will have a lovely ripple effect on your family too!
Feel free to share your Bliss List or chat about how you’ll sprinkle in some CEO Time. We’re all in this together!
Exercise 4DAILY CHECK INS
Let’s boost your emotional awareness and deepen your connection with yourself
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Set aside a few minutes each day for a little self-reflection party! Ask yourself:
“What am I feeling right now?”
“Where do I feel it in my body?”
“What might this feeling be trying to tell me?”
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Jot down your thoughts in a journal to spot patterns over time. Naming emotions is like giving your feelings a little voice, which helps you connect with yourself on a deeper level!
Exercise 5Find Your Pink Again
Let’s rediscover activities that light you up beyond parenting
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Dive back into those hobbies or interests that made you smile before becoming a parent. Even a few minutes a day can make a difference! Consider:
Strumming your favourite tunes on a musical instrument
Writing freely in a journal without any pressure
Enjoying a solo browse in a shop for a little “me” time
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These delightful moments of curiosity and pleasure will gradually help you reconnect with your authentic self. Make finding your "Unicorn Space" a priority in your schedule, allowing yourself to explore and enjoy what makes you uniquely YOU.
