What is Matrescence?
You've probably heard of adolescence. That in-between phase where everything shifts, nothing quite fits, and you're figuring out who you are. Matrescence is the same thing, but for becoming a mother.
It's the physical, emotional and psychological shift that happens when you have a baby. And just like adolescence, it doesn't happen overnight. It's gradual, sometimes confusing, and completely normal.
The word itself was coined by anthropologist Dana Raphael in the 1970s. She understood that becoming a mother was a profound transition, not just a lifestyle change. More recent research has gone even further, showing that pregnancy and early motherhood actually change the structure of your brain. Not in a scary way. In a way that helps you tune into your baby, read their needs, and adapt to your new life.
The problem is, most of us have never heard this word. So when we feel lost, disconnected, or not quite ourselves after having a baby, we assume something is wrong with us. It isn't. It has a name.
So why does it matter?
When you don't have language for what you're feeling, it's easy to spiral. You search for answers and often land on clinical descriptions of postnatal depression that don't quite fit. You feel guilty for not loving every moment. You wonder why you miss your old self when you love your baby so much.
Matrescence explains that gap. You are not broken. You are becoming.
Many cultures have always marked this transition with ritual, rest and community. Modern life tends to skip straight to "bounce back" and "getting back to normal." But there is no going back to normal, because you are not the same person. You are someone new, and that takes time to settle into.
What does matrescence actually feel like?
It shows up differently for everyone, but some of the most common experiences include:
Feeling disconnected from who you were before. Missing your old life even though you love your baby. Friction in relationships as roles shift and expectations change. Questioning your identity, your ambitions, your sense of purpose. Mood swings that don't quite fit the postnatal depression label. Feeling invisible, or like the person you were has been quietly shelved.
If any of that sounds familiar, you're in the right place.
You are not alone in this
Research shows that the identity shift of matrescence often begins during pregnancy, not after birth. Many mothers experience a dip in self-worth during the fourth trimester. And yet most women navigate this entirely alone, without ever knowing it has a name.
At Mum Love, we think that needs to change. Naming this experience is the first step. Once you can say "I'm going through matrescence," something shifts. You're not failing. You're transitioning.
Want to read more?
These books explore matrescence and early motherhood in ways that are honest, grounded and genuinely useful:
Motherkind by Zoe Blaskey - on motherhood, self-care and finding balance
The Fourth Trimester by Kimberly Ann Johnson - the emotional and physical reality of the postpartum period
The Motherhood Constellation by Daniel N. Stern - the psychological changes that come with becoming a mother
Matrescence by Lucy Jones - personal stories woven with research, honest and relatable
The Matrescence Handbook by Dr Alexandra Sacks - practical and reassuring, like a wise friend walking you through it
Mothering the Mother by Sally Plowman - on how we support each other through this time
The Gift of Motherhood by Dr Sarah Williams - the joys, the challenges, and the personal growth that comes with both
This Is Motherhood by Lucy Jones - a candid memoir that reminds you we're all figuring this out