Insights from Conversations
Over three years ago, I set out to transform a niggle - a feeling I couldn’t quite name since having my daughter - into something that might help other mothers feel less isolated. Since October 2024, this investigation has gained significant momentum, leading to developments far greater than I envisaged. We launched Mum Love, introduced a simple idea to the world (“you are changing, this is perfectly normal”), and have spent the past few months in a cycle of listening, learning, and rethinking. Here are the most significant lessons I’ve gleaned from those conversations.
This is ubiquitous, and It looks different for everyone
From NHS midwives to grassroots mum clubs, corporate HR teams to academic researchers, everyone I spoke to recognised the same gap: mothers are experiencing changes we don’t discuss, and this silence can cause genuine harm. However, the nature of the problem varies by context. Some women begin to feel it during pregnancy; others only realise it three months post-birth or when attempting to return to work. Cultural expectations, language barriers, and job roles (especially for women in senior positions) influence how the experience manifests. The clear takeaway: a one-size-fits-all message won’t suffice. We need multiple entry points and diverse ways to convey the same sentiment.
Words matter, but only if they resonate
We tested various terms with people: “matrescence”, “identity crisis”, “role confusion”, “role transition”. Specialist audiences may accept academic language; most mothers do not. “Crisis” can be alarming as it sounds clinical, whereas “matrescence” is elegant but often feels alien to many. The simplest, most impactful framing we arrived at during conversations is straightforward and direct: your role is changing — this is perfectly normal. That line seems to offer a breath of fresh air to most individuals I speak with. It normalises the experience without medicalising it and opens the door for practical support.
Awareness is necessary but not sufficient
Hearing “this is normal” is helpful - it reduces shame. However, for many mothers, awareness alone is insufficient. People asked: “Alright, that’s normal. What do I do now?” That pivot is something I wouldn’t have fully grasped before these discussions. From therapists and Pandas to UX professionals building apps, everyone has requested low-friction, immediate tools: a one-page pregnancy pack at the first scan, an early postnatal check-in, brief micro-interventions you can do while the baby sleeps, and clear, trusted signposting when things feel worse than “normal”.
Safety and signposting are non-negotiable
Clinical partners (Pandas, NHS advisors) were adamant: if we provide emotional support, we must also offer safe exit routes to clinical help when needed. This has shaped our product thinking - AI companions, mood trackers, and conversational scripts must indicate when someone requires professional help and immediately signpost them. No cheerleading in place of therapy; just simple, humane pathways to assistance.
Partnerships win access, but alignment matters
We consulted with Department of Health and Social Care, NCT, Pandas, Open University, Pear, corporate partners, and hospital contacts. Getting a pregnancy pack into the first-scan pathway will require collaboration with multiple partners. However, I’ve also learned to be discerning: mission-aligned partners who don’t wish to commercialise the space are the right fit. If a partner intends to turn Mum Love into advertising space, that’s a definite no.
Employers are part of the solution, but they need guidance
Conversations with HR leaders and employer groups revealed that businesses want to support parents but are unsure how. They respond to evidence and cost-based arguments: what does attrition cost? What does retention save? A white paper we’re planning must demonstrate the business case and provide HR teams with a clear, practical “return-to-work toolkit” — including manager prompts, staged check-ins, and phased responsibilities — rather than just high-level platitudes.
Research + lived experience = The policy lever
We can capture attention with data and lend credibility with stories. The Open University team and other researchers can help transform free-text experiences into policy-ready evidence. This combination is what opens doors at Downing Street and within Health and Social teams. It also reassures funders: we’re not selling a product; we’re building an evidence-backed public good.
What’s next for me
Finalise a concise, plain-language pregnancy pack and pilot distribution channels (Mama Academy, some NHS trusts, and antenatal groups).
Develop an employer-facing white paper and HR toolkit (Sept–Dec), with a pilot sponsor.
Create a safe escalation flow for our AI companion so it can signpost to Pandas/NHS when needed.
Collaborate with OU to analyse lived-experience data for clear policy recommendations.
A final note from me
People continue to offer time, ideas, and introductions. This project has been remarkably collaborative; Mum Love feels less like one founder’s vision and more like a coalition forming around a simple principle: mothers shouldn’t have to feel unseen. I’m tired, but energised in a way I didn’t expect. The last few months have taught me that real change is possible, but it requires patient partnerships, clear language, safety-first design, and the courage to confront the messy reality of motherhood without sanitising it.
If you’ve read this and wish to contribute, please do share a short story on the Mum Love site, inform your HR team about the concept of a “return-to-work toolkit,” or introduce us to your local maternity lead. Small actions can accumulate. This project is for us, from one mother to another.