What really helps new mums: talking honestly about guilt, community and coming back to yourself

I had the pleasure of chatting with Belinda Batt, coach, author of Challenge Your Guilt, and founder of The Flourishing Mother, and Louise Webster, founder of Beyond School, Beyond the School Run and author.  We discussed the beautifully chaotic journey of modern motherhood, diving into everything from the guilt that creeps in to the all-too-familiar role confusion so many of us face. 

It was a heartfelt discussion that didn’t just linger on the challenges; we also shared practical tips for rebuilding the community support systems that are so vital for new mums.

Motherhood can feel like an emotional rollercoaster. We highlighted the deep exhaustion that comes with caregiving, the sting of societal expectations, and the tricky identity shift that often follows the arrival of a baby. 

I spoke about how maternal guilt is a very real experience - something I explore in my work with Mum Love and beyond. I also introduced the term “role confusion,” which perfectly captures that feeling of losing yourself as you navigate the first couple of years with a little one.

Reconnecting with yourself post-baby is essential. Matrescence (yes, it’s a real term!) is all about transitioning into motherhood, and while it can be overwhelming, it’s also a wonderful opportunity for self-discovery. Embracing simple self-care routines and daily exercises can help new mums reclaim their sense of self. Think gentle stretches, mindful breathing, or a leisurely stroll - these little habits can work wonders for your mood and energy levels. 

Practising mindfulness can also ease postpartum anxiety, making the chaotic days feel a bit more manageable.

Peer groups are vital! The small group discussions I’ve hosted have shown that sharing worries and joys beyond just childcare logistics can be incredibly therapeutic. There’s a unique power in being heard by other mothers who truly understand. 

At Mum Love, we aim to collect and share authentic motherhood stories - from pregnancy through those wild first 24 months. Our goal is to normalise emotions and break down stigma. By inviting mothers to share their experiences, we can help others feel less alone in their journeys.

We also discussed the importance of collaborating with organisations like the NCT and healthcare providers to communicate essential messages during pregnancy: “Your life will change, and that’s perfectly normal!” By embedding these reassurances early on, we can help prevent feelings of isolation. 

I’m excited about our plans for a white paper aimed at helping HR teams better support mothers returning to work. With solid evidence backing our recommendations, we can encourage businesses to take meaningful action.

Throughout our conversation, we emphasised the power of language. Words shape our conversations and can either enhance or hinder accessibility. By using relatable terms like “role confusion,” we aim to foster connection and understanding. When parents encounter language that resonates, they’re more likely to acknowledge their experiences and reach out for support.

Overall, the conversation was refreshingly honest and hopeful. While mothers often feel exhausted and like they’re failing, it’s clear that the real issues are systemic - not personal. 

By focusing on storytelling, early interventions, and community building, we can rebuild our village. If we gather stories, engage partners, and prioritise community-focused efforts over fleeting campaigns, we can help a whole generation of parents move from isolation back into a supportive network. By embracing postpartum wellness and celebrating maternal identity, we can empower mothers to feel confident and valued, not just as caregivers, but as individuals rediscovering who they are. So, let’s roll up our sleeves and get to work on rebuilding that village together!